Can I be a Writer I wish?

So, the four weeks are now complete and I have devoured four books including a 200 pager on vocab…wtf? Are you crazy? You don’t cram vocabulary son! Well, I do sir, can’t help it.

Can I become the writer I suddenly want to be? Well, I have a bit of experience. I’ve been writing things. Actually, I’ve already written…hmmm….hmmm…15 posts for this blog?

And it says, “that ain’t enough.”

Who says what?

(Deep inside my Brain) “Your —–”

“Can you repeat that sir? I didn’t hear.”

(Again) “Your writing—-”

What sir? Say once more, it was not clear.

(Brain activity) “Your writing sucks”.

“What? I suck?” Well, I got one thing for you sir, “F O!”

Now you must be wondering what am I writing, Right? So let me explain.

There is a guy. He is a commonly found creature in India. A food junkie. Just 23. Works on the PS3 and doesn’t care about ‘thee’. He’s suddenly realized something and he wants to be honest about it. His blogging career has been a great journey. An experience where he’s found people like OM to
HW, came across Ideas as motivating as Suds’ to as Inspirational as Sierra’s. He’s found authors to poets to even nonsensical idiots (I maybe one of them, but couldn’t care less). It’s all been good but even better is a thought. An idea he’s ruminated for the past few weeks. A fact that he wants to share with you all, “What about giving writing a serious thought?”

Say whaaat?

“Yes sir, a career in writing.”

Is he sure?

“Yes Sir, he is.”

All his 23 years, he’s wandered. From high roads to deep trenches he’s covered everything. Sudden happiness to utter despair, he’s felt everything. Sometimes he did it alone, others he found friends. He’s been slandered, he’s been ridiculed. He’s been focused and he’s been adrift. He’s found a lot of things and lost as many; but one thing that was never gone was ‘what he had to be’. He’s still petrified to tell you who he is, but for the one last time he says, “This is me.”

This is my life and I want it to be an inspiring journey. I’ve seen failures and tell me who hasn’t? All of us have been swayed by winds of people who want to control our thoughts and our lives. That way it gets easier for us to depend. There is someone who keeps doing things for us, but for once, leave me alone! I can’t be what you want me to be. I have to be myself. I have be me!

People want to belong and I also do, but this time only to myself. I’ve been asked this question time and again, “what do you want to do?” and I’ve always been confused. Neither do I have a clue nor do I think I ever will. I don’t know what waits at the other side but for once the picture is clearer and I want to have a deeper look. I know it may be hard but I want to be dedicated. Do it as long as I can possibly forever if god wishes. I’ve never given it a thought but finally it has come. I hope I’ve found my path and I know you will also one day. So just let me write and leave me alone, watch me how I play along.

Just let me make you aware that I don’t want to be an author. There is a difference, mind it.

I would request you to have a look at my blog and let me know of any suggestions: http://www.ideasbysud.wordpress.com

I want to run: Like a Traveller, Never a tourist!

What has happened to me? Have I stopped thinking or have I suddenly run out of Ideas? I don’t think of writing anymore. It feels as if I have better things to do. Life is big and writing doesn’t seem to fill the empty spaces.

Is my motivation lost?
All enthusiasm gone?
Was my excitement an illusion?

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Swayed by failures? Hold yourself, till the end!

So, my blogging career is four weeks old now and someone just asked ‘are you lovin’ it?’ You bet I am. Lovin’ it to the point that I now want to be a writer. How do you feel that, huh?? Another person swayed by the winds, right? And yes, in a way you are right, but isn’t it that all things start small? besides, when did I say that I have to be the next Stephen King?
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Writing to Freedom!

Writing is a form of personal freedom. It frees us from the mass identity we see all around us. In the end, writers will write not to be outlaw heroes of some underculture but mainly to save themselves, to survive as individuals.

By Don DeLillo

Blogs: The creativity syndrome!

Yesterday, I met a guy who asked me, “OK, since now I am 11 posts and a few 100 followers old on wordpress, how can I improve? How can I increase the number of views my blog has, the number of unique visitors it gets, the inbound links it has. How can I fuckin’ monetize it?” And I replied, “Shut the fuck up Sudhir. Don’t be a cynically opressive capitalist. Leave your fuckin’ blog as it is.”

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Problems ain’t here, They’re everywhere!

I see myself suffering in the agony of problems,
Problems that eat my mind and do no kind,
Just give pain!

Ranging from trivial to criminal, they speak to me,
Telling, I cannot chage my mind or the worldly kind,
That I can make no difference in my limited time.

A difference important for the world to see,
One that would make problems flee,

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Why am I doing this?

whyNormally, when people begin something they know what they are trying to do. They have it all planned and know where they are headed.

Fortunately, I seldom get such privilege. Although, I knew what I am trying to write has certain meaning to it, I never knew why I’ve suddenly started writing it all. Why I suddenly started expressing myself and putting my thoughts in words. But, finally it has come. The reason has dawned.

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Ideas of the confused mind!

Before beginning this post I was wondering what exactly shall I write about? What topic shall I touch upon? What feelings shall I try to convey? and then suddenly it dawned on me…Nothing! I don’t know! I am confused.

Has it ever occured to you, when your mind simply says, “I don’t know”. I’m sure it must have because without it life would seem so abnormal. We are not perfect and it is perfectly fine.

But, What to do..

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A Dream Etched in Words!

I keep dreaming new endings to situations that didn’t work out in my teens..
Keep pondering about those memories of the past..
what am I trying to find? . . . . . .

I see myself writing more than I ever have,
Thinking more than I ever could,
Probing for that perfect word..
I keep scribbling continuously and
Then a question creeps my mind..

Is this my new passion? Is this my new hobby? What is it exactly? And, after ruminating over it for sometime, I realise! It’s a DREAM!

By Sudhir