Can I be a Writer I wish?

So, the four weeks are now complete and I have devoured four books including a 200 pager on vocab…wtf? Are you crazy? You don’t cram vocabulary son! Well, I do sir, can’t help it.

Can I become the writer I suddenly want to be? Well, I have a bit of experience. I’ve been writing things. Actually, I’ve already written…hmmm….hmmm…15 posts for this blog?

And it says, “that ain’t enough.”

Who says what?

(Deep inside my Brain) “Your —–”

“Can you repeat that sir? I didn’t hear.”

(Again) “Your writing—-”

What sir? Say once more, it was not clear.

(Brain activity) “Your writing sucks”.

“What? I suck?” Well, I got one thing for you sir, “F O!”

Now you must be wondering what am I writing, Right? So let me explain.

There is a guy. He is a commonly found creature in India. A food junkie. Just 23. Works on the PS3 and doesn’t care about ‘thee’. He’s suddenly realized something and he wants to be honest about it. His blogging career has been a great journey. An experience where he’s found people like OM to
HW, came across Ideas as motivating as Suds’ to as Inspirational as Sierra’s. He’s found authors to poets to even nonsensical idiots (I maybe one of them, but couldn’t care less). It’s all been good but even better is a thought. An idea he’s ruminated for the past few weeks. A fact that he wants to share with you all, “What about giving writing a serious thought?”

Say whaaat?

“Yes sir, a career in writing.”

Is he sure?

“Yes Sir, he is.”

All his 23 years, he’s wandered. From high roads to deep trenches he’s covered everything. Sudden happiness to utter despair, he’s felt everything. Sometimes he did it alone, others he found friends. He’s been slandered, he’s been ridiculed. He’s been focused and he’s been adrift. He’s found a lot of things and lost as many; but one thing that was never gone was ‘what he had to be’. He’s still petrified to tell you who he is, but for the one last time he says, “This is me.”

This is my life and I want it to be an inspiring journey. I’ve seen failures and tell me who hasn’t? All of us have been swayed by winds of people who want to control our thoughts and our lives. That way it gets easier for us to depend. There is someone who keeps doing things for us, but for once, leave me alone! I can’t be what you want me to be. I have to be myself. I have be me!

People want to belong and I also do, but this time only to myself. I’ve been asked this question time and again, “what do you want to do?” and I’ve always been confused. Neither do I have a clue nor do I think I ever will. I don’t know what waits at the other side but for once the picture is clearer and I want to have a deeper look. I know it may be hard but I want to be dedicated. Do it as long as I can possibly forever if god wishes. I’ve never given it a thought but finally it has come. I hope I’ve found my path and I know you will also one day. So just let me write and leave me alone, watch me how I play along.

Just let me make you aware that I don’t want to be an author. There is a difference, mind it.

I would request you to have a look at my blog and let me know of any suggestions: http://www.ideasbysud.wordpress.com

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A Dream Etched in Words!

I keep dreaming new endings to situations that didn’t work out in my teens..
Keep pondering about those memories of the past..
what am I trying to find? . . . . . .

I see myself writing more than I ever have,
Thinking more than I ever could,
Probing for that perfect word..
I keep scribbling continuously and
Then a question creeps my mind..

Is this my new passion? Is this my new hobby? What is it exactly? And, after ruminating over it for sometime, I realise! It’s a DREAM!

By Sudhir